Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Adison Grace & Lillian Marie

Well just because I have been thinking a LOT about that crazy day last August, and we are coming up on 6 months, I can’t believe it has gone by so fast! I thought I would finally post our story.

Last spring, Mr. K and I realized, quite abruptly that I was pregnant. So we quickly made an appointment to see my Dr. And two days later it was confirmed, we were expecting our first two children, twin girls! We were super excited! We couldn’t wait to tell our family and friends! And I couldn’t wait to SHOP! From the very first day we did everything just like we should…and it was a pretty typical pregnancy. But because of the fact it was twins we would see my OB one week and the specialist the next and everything seemed to be going fine. On Monday morning, August 25, 2008, I woke up at about 5am and I was having these horrible pains that I thought felt like what contractions would feel like, but I was not sure. Nothing had changed and the girls were moving regularly so I thought it would be OK, but as I started to get ready for work it got worse...a lot worse! So Mr. K and I decided that we would go to the Dr instead of work. We called from the car on the way and they were waiting on us when we go there. They hooked me up to the monitor and did an ultra sound and everything was normal and there was no movement of my uterus or my cervix. But the girls had grown a lot so we were assured that it was just normal growth pains. I went home for the rest of the day and just took it easy. Tuesday was normal and the pain seemed to stop until about 6pm. And all of the sudden it started again and it was very intense. But I had an appointment with the specialist the following morning so I was not too worried, at first. About 130am I was trying to get comfortable and relax in bed and my water broke and the girls started moving like crazy...I was terrified. We quickly threw a bag together and hopped in the car, we made it all the way to Texas Women's in less than 15 minutes. When we got there they took me right in to a room and started hooking me up to a monitor to find their heart beats, which they found, with some trouble, but not any more than normal. As one nurse was moving the monitor around the other was asking me questions, ridiculous questions, like if Mr. K ever hit me and were we happy, all I could think about was we didn't have car seats! At that point I had no idea. After they found the heart beats they did an exam and the nurse looked at me in horror and said she would be right back. Not two minutes later the on call Dr was in the room with about 3 specialists to do a second exam. At this point they told us that Baby A (Adison) was outside of the whom and would be delivered within the next few hours. At this point they gave us all of the statistics about the girls being born at 23 weeks and told us to call our family. Kevin and I went over and over it in our heads we just didn't believe it, there was just no way was this happening. My parents got there just before 6am and Mr. K’s Dad about 730am. Just after 6am my OB arrived, Dr. R, he just sat with us for a while and then he went over everything with us, which was a lot more helpful. He explained that it seemed I had an incompetent cervix, something I had only briefly read about. The only thing I heard at that point was “next time” we can do this or that…I didn’t care about ‘NEXT TIME”…I wanted it THIS TIME!!! Beautiful little Adison Grace was born sleeping at 8:02am, after a very easy labor. It was surreal. It still is. We held her for a while and then had our family come back in so they could meet her and it was the hardest thing I had ever done, introducing my little girl to her family…a family that would never fully get to know her. Dr. R came in and as he was telling us that baby B (Lillian) looked like she would sit tight for a while and we might be able to go a few more days before delivering her in hopes that she could grow and get stronger, Lillian decided that she wasn’t going to stay put, if her sister was out she was going to be too, just after 930am my contractions started again. And after what seemed like agony precious Lillian Marie was born at 11am. She cried and we couldn't believe it! Could this really be happening? It only lasted a few seconds and just a moment later Mr. K and I held her as she took her final breath, she was gone. They were both gone and we were devastated. What were we going to do? How is this possible? Why would God let something like this happen? But it has! The staff at the hospital was so great! We could not have asked for better nurses, Dr's or staff. They made us these great memory boxes with the girls foot prints and hand prints and pictures. They dressed them in the most wonderful little dresses and wrapped them in, blankets made by volunteers. They brought them in again all dressed and cleaned up. And we kept them with us and cried with our families as we took time holding them and saying our goodbyes. It was so hard leaving the hospital and I was not sure I could do it, but somehow we managed. The following Tuesday we buried the girls by Mr. K’s brother and grandparents. The last 6 months, have been hard…Thanksgiving, their due date, Christmas, New Years. But life is going on, slowly but surely…I still have days were I don’t believe any of this happened to us, but it has! And it hurts!


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