Saturday, February 21, 2009

Who would have thought!

So on Saturday I had the dramatic conclusion to my LONG week! And it was not at all how I wanted it to end! But Alas it did!
So my good friend C is getting married in May and Saturday she had a bridal shower way out in I, Boeing a good friend, went! I do know several of her friends but none of them were there on Saturday, so I had to mingle and make new friends! Which I was surprisingly good at! But it really could have just been them! So I was setting with a large group of gals that were the grooms High School friends wives, who really are nice! But as I was the one that was new to the group they asked me a LOT of questions! First they were simple:" Where do you live?", "How do you know C?", etc...all was going well! Until one got a text from her husband with a picture of her 6 month old just giggling away...she really was precious! But then they all started talking about there Kids, or lack of, or lack of desire to ever have them! So for a while they were just swapping stories and talking about what was going on...but then all of the sudden, they turned to me in unison and it went a little something like this:

Them: "So, do you have any kids?"

Me: "'s complicated..."

Them: "Complicated what do you mean?"

Me: " I said it is complicated..."

But that wasn't enough! It continued:

The One who didn't want Children: "Believe me we won't judge you...just tell don't want kids do you? I can't stand them! Go ahead tell us!"

Me: "No! We really want children, it is just complicated!"

The One that is having problems conceiving: "Oh are you having a hard time conceiving...don't get will work out!"

At this point I should have just said...YES! But I couldn't for some reason...and I didn't want these women to pity me, I just wanted to go back to visiting like we were before! But I didn't!

Me: "Well no...that's not really the problem..."

The one who is older: "...oh are you not sure if you and your husband are going to stick it out...I didn't think...we were for years...but its OK..just tell us! " (and yes...she was begging!)

Me: "NO! NO! NO! I love my husband...I have since I was 18 years old...that's not it! I just don't want to talk about it! END! OF! STORY!"

So now I have yelled and more than just our little table are looking and I feel like an idiot! So I apologize several times and then excuse myself, so that I could gain my composure! I didn't mean to get upset, I just saw no reason to tell a group of strangers my story...I didn't want there pity and I just wanted them to drop it!
But as I quickly walked to the ladies, I started crying...and as I crossed the bar at this restaurant...T(the groom)saw me and apparently rushed back to the table I had been sitting at and asked if they new why I was crying! But they had no idea why I was T told them what he new...and apparently they all started crying...
So as I walk out of the ladies, I am met by the 6 gals that I had been sitting with, all of whom are blotting there eyes...and I felt like an idiot! This is when T walked up and said he spilt the beans... and that he felt horrible!
But so this group of women that didn't know me from Adam were being supportive! I was not expecting that...who would? Some of my family members aren't that how could these women be!
It was completely against everything that my heart and my mind told me it was going to be! I never tell people that I don't know...I just don't...but am I missing out on something? I can't help but think that I am not...but I guess it is possible! And no it won't change how I answer the question, why should it! But it is nice to know that some people out there actually do care, even if they don't know you!


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