Am I?

I'm sitting here with Mr. K catching up on our DVR tonight, and I am reading different blogs of women and it makes me a little sad. Not just for us but for them too! So many of these women have gone through months and months of infertility and IVF only to have it all pulled out from underneath of them when you least expect it! And again and again I stumble on blogs of women that have been threw this two or three times! I don't know that my heart could handle that! How could you?

So that makes me question what I have been thinking for the past few weeks! As much as it probably isn't the best time for us...I really....really want to try again! It is almost all I think about, and much to Mr. K's protest, I keep bringing it up! I know he wanted originally wanted to talk about trying again this month, but with me not having a job it is not the first thing on his mind! And I don't blame him! But I can't help but think..there are reasons for everything. And maybe it really is the right time for us to try again...lets face it, I am going to be on bed rest practically the entire time, so what better way to do it when I don't have a job?

But the real question that I should be asking myself is...Are we emotionally ready? And the sad but true answer is probably not! I think I am but...deep down inside...I'm not! I can barely look at pictures of babies...I cry! I find myself in the baby section at just about any store, holding little girl clothes...I don't even realize I am doing it until Mr. K catches me! And I can't make threw a trip to Babies R Us...or Toys R Us for that matter!

So why do I think I am ready? The truth is...I guess I'm NOT!
I want the grils back!