Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I am not cazy!

Yesterday I learned a valuable bit of information from T. And it has really made me think!
If you don't already know, and most of you will - Mr. K's parents lost there first born son due to his mothers incompetent cervix as well. Which considering how I feel about my "Monster-In-Law" is a fact that I wish I could did not have to face. At first I had hoped that this could help us reconcile and work threw of our issues and eventually help us to all get along, but the answer is NO! Apparently SHE is the victim in all of this, she is the victim in everything! So the less I have in common with her the better. And yes, it kills me that this is "the thing" we have in common.
So back to the point, I have been saying for a while now that I don't want to only think/talk about having another baby...there are other things in my life, and lets face it, it is not the best time for us. However slowly but surly, I have felt myself going that way! And the more I think about it the more I wish I was not becoming this person...but it is just right there in my head...all of the time!!!
So as T and I were sewing yesterday (which was oh so much fun!) I learned that MIL, became obsessed with having a child after the loss of their first son. And we all know that their second son is Mr.K! So this where the wheels start turning, as crazy as she is and apparently was, especially during that time in her life...was it all bad...I mean somewhere somehow was she looking out for me, you know making sure I found my soul mate?? The love of my life was the result, so doesn't that make some sort of since? So in turn, is it possible to say that if we do have more children, they too will one day be the love of someones life? But how do we know when it is it the right time? Or will ever be the right time? I don't know the answer to those questions..and I guess I never will, but I wish I did!
So for now, this is me saying I know I am not going crazy, and I somehow I know I never will!
I am just keeping an eye out!


Lola said...

I think the right time is when you can buy baby clothes, see babies, talk about babies, and lastly talk about your story comfortably. Then I think you are ready, for lack of a better phrase, to move on without any baggage.

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Copyright ©2011 Small Bird Studios| All Rights Reserved |Free Blog Templates at Small Bird Studios