The Secret Garden Meeting - July

The Secret Garden Meeting used to be known as Under The Tree. This is a place for hope, healing, acceptance, support, and most importantly a place to be free and safe. These are this months questions and my answers. Please join us!

How do you see or imagine your baby/ies now that you do not have them with you?
I see the girls in Heaven. I always seem to think of them as toddlers, maybe even a bit older. I know that they are happy and that they are playing up a storm with some very dear friends of ours that are also gone from this earth too soon. Mr. K likes to say that they are getting into all sorts of trouble with these friends, that they are teaching them all kinds of crazy things and that they are having a blast! I hope that is true. From time to time I dream about getting the girls dressed for school, it is the first day and we are trying to get everything figured out. Here lately there are other children in this dream, I am hoping that is a good sign!

How did the loss of your last pregnancy affect your choices/decisions about the birth of your subsequent pregnancy?
I am not sure yet. Maybe this is wrong of me but I do not consider the ectopic pregnancy from March a true pregnancy. It was over before it even started, I had not even gotten my head around the whole thing before I was whisked away to surgery. I keep hoping that we get to a point where we are TTC soon, but I know that will not happen. I do know that when we do conceive again things will be much different. There will be no stress from friends and family, Mr. K will NOT allow it! And I am almost positive I will put myself on bed rest almost immediately, if the Dr's don't do it for me! In several ways I am looking forward to trying again and in others I am very scared. But all of this is something I imagine is a long way down the road for us right now!