Have you ever had one of those days? Not one of those days when you are missing and longing for your child and what you know your missing out on. But one of those days you have high hopes for and not one single thing goes right? Well that is the day I am having today...
OK for those of you that have ever had a wee little puppy, what did you do about all the poop? See Maggie she only likes to poop in the house! This morning we went on a 30 minuet walk and she didn't pee or poop once! Then we get home and not 30 seconds later she pooped and peed on my very clean kitchen floor!
Then as we are eating breakfast I get the same phone call I get every morning...from the substitute line. And this morning there happened to be a job that I really wanted and the silly system wouldn't let me accept it! I tried and tried, but no dice! So I quickly logged in to the online system to get it and again no dice! Ugh! What did I ever do to the silly system!
So finally I decide I need to work for my part time job so I get ready to go put Maggie in her kennel and get in the car just as it starts pouring rain. I drive the 25 minuets to the store I need to work at and it is still raining like crazy, I get my umbrella, get to the door and realize that I left my computer in the car! I get to the car and guess what! It's not there! I left it at home! GREAT! So I go all the way home and by the time I get there my head is pounding! I really just want to crawl back in bed and go back to sleep! But I can't!
I used to be able to handle anything in stride. Things didn't bother me, not like this! But here lately one little thing can just completely ruin my day! I used to be such the problem solver, not anymore! I seem to get all flustered and out of sorts all of the time! The worst times are when we with are with our KFamily friends, see BigK he has panic attacks...about EVERYTHING, most days he can't make a decision with out having one! When we are them and he has one of these moments it makes me so uncomfortable. I just feel like I am on edge all of the time, and just about anything can make me jump! I wish I knew why!
Speaking of the KFamily, last week when they came over for dinner they announced that they expecting there third child! Which I know is wonderful and exciting but I am jealous! I wish things were different for us right now but they aren't and I know one day it will be me. But still! And yes I know how petty I sound, I realized it last week when I was talking Stubby, she put me in my place and truthfully I really am thankful! I can be such a downer when it comes to things I want and can't have and I don't even notice! Now I just have to figure out how to get past my jealousy and be happy for my friends! The funny things is I don't feel this type of jealousy towards my blog friends, actually I am genuinely excited and thrilled for you! I just wish I was part of that group too, and I know I will be...one of these days!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
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5 comments:
Ugh, I call these days the continual looming dark cloud over the head that just won't go away! Thankfully it eventually does go away for a while, and tomorrow is a new day and you can try and start over again.
I also have trouble with prego people IRL, and get happy for our blogger babylost moms when I hear they are prego again...I dont understand it much, and I dont like to feel that way about dear friends/family IRL who I should be happy for, but Im not the same person I was before. Maybe if they never had an issue like we did, and it looks like a breeze for them, the jealousy comes out, when it should be happiness for them...*sigh* You are not alone in your thoughts.
Hang in there, get some rest tonight.
Hugs, Nan xo
I am so sorry for the yucky day. It is totally understandable that you feel jealousy towards your friend. It is not something that we can control, it is just part of losing a child. I hope I hioe you get what you are wanting very soon. xx
oh I get the jealously....I wish I didn't feel that way. It takes some effort to not feel that way. I haven't yet had a family member jump the queue on me....
I think a lot of us cope better with other BL Mumma's who become pregnant than those in real life...
and I have so had a few of "THOSE" days lately. ugggh- I think it's sign our brains are trying to sort through some aspect of grief- because we just don't function as per normal. Most frustrating isn't it?!
Praying for a peaceful & smooth day for you tomorrow.xx
Thank you all for your wonderful comments! Yesterday was much better and just what I needed!
in regards to the poop, we got our dog when she was 4 months old, so she was more or less potty trained, thankfully, but she did have a few accidents the first few weeks. Now here's a trick that seems to have helped alot.... when we first got her, we would walk around the yard until she went potty #1 and #2 THEN we went for a walk. Now, she rarely does potty on the walk, and usually either goes before we go or she will hold it til we get back. Sometimes we get back from our walk and she runs to the back and immediately relieves herself. So yes, yuck in our yard but at least I rarely have to carry a bag of poo around with me! :)
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