Where did November Go?

As I am sitting here eating my breakfast this morning I realized today is the last day of November! How did it fly bye so quickly that I barely noticed? And I know that the rest of the year is going to pass in a whirlwind!
We had such a wonderful Thanksgiving, I can't tell you how much I love Mr.K's family! Not that I don't love my family too but there is something about his family...they are so laid back and casual and fun! I loved having them all here on Thursday and I kept myself so busy that I really didn't have a chance to be sad about missing the girls. Although I really did miss them especially with my brothers son, baby horse, he is just so cute and so happy that it made me miss them even that much more.
We finally got our tree set up last night and somehow I am all of the sudden looking forward to Christmas and the New Year. I think part of it is I am really looking forward to closing the door on this year and I am looking forward to all the possibilities that I am hoping next year will bring!
Any way I am hoping to be a better poster threw the end of the year and especially next year, I have been really bad at posting regularly and I had such bigger hopes for myself when I started blogging this year.
Also one last note, if you are a Baby Lost Momma make sure you are heading over to Tina's Blog every day to see where the 25 Days of Give Aways is Today! So you can enter to win something from one of your BLM friends.

Maggie and Her Dinner!

Apparently Maggie thought she didn't get enough in her bowl tonight...

But don't worry the bag was all but empty! Who knew all we needed was a food bag for her to play with, we could have saved all that money we spent on toys!

Movies Lately

Mr. K and I watch a LOT of movies! And we are not all that picky about the movies, we will give just about anything a chance. Last week we saw Marley and Me, which I know we saw at the theater last year, but I don't remember it...even though I have the ticket stubs! So as we are sitting here watching, tears well up in my eyes while they are at the OB's office. I felt so bad for them, and yes latter I really cried about it, but that is another story.
So then yesterday we saw UP, which was adorable! And totally unexpectedly I found my self crying during the little montage when you realize they can't have children, I never thought I would see that in a "kids" movie but it there it was! Then Ellie is sitting in the yard, not sure what to do and just feeling the sun on her face! So now I know it is not just me that has done that, and somehow I don't feel so bad about sitting out there anymore! If I need to do it...I will!
So to my real point...
Is it just me or is infertility/pregnancy loss showing up more? Is it becoming more mainstream? If so, it breaks my heart a little bit. I don't wish infertility or pregnancy loss on anyone, not even my "arch nemesis". It hurts and it is hard! And I don't know anyone in this situation that's heart doesn't break every time they hear of someones loss. So then I wonder if somehow those people that so many of us have trouble dealing with, will start to understand how we are feeling and that we are not crazy and too just leave us alone! I sure hope they get the message! It really would make my daily life just a little easier!

Just a couple thoughts, I know I am rambling! And I hope I didn't spoil anything for any of you!

Long Time No Post

Wow! Has it really almost been a month since I posted? I guess it has! First I was sick and then both computers were sick, one due to a virus and one due to Maggie and her jaws of death! After that I worked like a million hours in one week and now I have a concussion! Let me tell you it has been a crazy couple of weeks! I am so ready for things to slow down but I know there is no end in sight, at least not until after the Holidays!

Oh the Holidays, are you here already? Last year they snuck up on me and I really didn't want anything to do with them. Mr. K and I had planned for it to be low key seeing as Dr. R had decided that he would induce me the week before Thanksgiving, alas we never made it that far.

All I wanted to do when those days got here was lie in bed, and I did...which is why we nearly missed Mr.K's family Thanksgiving! So this year we have "bravely" decided to host Thanksgiving at our house for Mr. K's family. And truthfully I am really looking forward to it.

See I absolutely LOVE being a hostess! I love all the planning and prepping and cleaning and shopping and everything, it makes me feel like me again! The old happy me. This me...

So I have vowed to immerse myself in the planning and prepping and to think happy, Very HAPPY, thoughts!

One of those days!

Have you ever had one of those days? Not one of those days when you are missing and longing for your child and what you know your missing out on. But one of those days you have high hopes for and not one single thing goes right? Well that is the day I am having today...
OK for those of you that have ever had a wee little puppy, what did you do about all the poop? See Maggie she only likes to poop in the house! This morning we went on a 30 minuet walk and she didn't pee or poop once! Then we get home and not 30 seconds later she pooped and peed on my very clean kitchen floor!

Then as we are eating breakfast I get the same phone call I get every morning...from the substitute line. And this morning there happened to be a job that I really wanted and the silly system wouldn't let me accept it! I tried and tried, but no dice! So I quickly logged in to the online system to get it and again no dice! Ugh! What did I ever do to the silly system!
So finally I decide I need to work for my part time job so I get ready to go put Maggie in her kennel and get in the car just as it starts pouring rain. I drive the 25 minuets to the store I need to work at and it is still raining like crazy, I get my umbrella, get to the door and realize that I left my computer in the car! I get to the car and guess what! It's not there! I left it at home! GREAT! So I go all the way home and by the time I get there my head is pounding! I really just want to crawl back in bed and go back to sleep! But I can't!

I used to be able to handle anything in stride. Things didn't bother me, not like this! But here lately one little thing can just completely ruin my day! I used to be such the problem solver, not anymore! I seem to get all flustered and out of sorts all of the time! The worst times are when we with are with our KFamily friends, see BigK he has panic attacks...about EVERYTHING, most days he can't make a decision with out having one! When we are them and he has one of these moments it makes me so uncomfortable. I just feel like I am on edge all of the time, and just about anything can make me jump! I wish I knew why!

Speaking of the KFamily, last week when they came over for dinner they announced that they expecting there third child! Which I know is wonderful and exciting but I am jealous! I wish things were different for us right now but they aren't and I know one day it will be me. But still! And yes I know how petty I sound, I realized it last week when I was talking Stubby, she put me in my place and truthfully I really am thankful! I can be such a downer when it comes to things I want and can't have and I don't even notice! Now I just have to figure out how to get past my jealousy and be happy for my friends! The funny things is I don't feel this type of jealousy towards my blog friends, actually I am genuinely excited and thrilled for you! I just wish I was part of that group too, and I know I will be...one of these days!

I like treats!

Two weeks ago or so Maggie moved in. And it has been a little crazy ever since!

See when she first came she brought a visitor...

Her brother Miles. Luckily Miles only stayed about a week, but even still there was a LOT of poop!

Maggie didn't do so well when Miles went to his new home and she spent a lot of time under my kitchen cart!

I have to admit I was really worried at first and thought we were going to end up with both Maggie and Miles if she didn't perk up but she did!

And now she really has come in to her own and boy has she been having a lot of fun!

She has a duck that she caries all over the house and the yard. (I think Mr. K might have to take up hunting just so he can take Maggie!)

She waits "patiently" for her meals! Yeah right, but she sure tries! In this picture she is waiting for a carrot! And this morning she completely impressed my brother with her tricks! She has already learned to sit, shake, lay down and roll over! She hasn't fully gotten roll over, but she is very close! She is such a quick learner! If only she would house train that easy!

She likes to watch TV

But not commercials!

And she loves to sleep just like this! Doesn't that look comfortable? And even with the storm we had last night she slept the whole night for the very first time! Granted she was awake at 6am, but that was a lot better than 2am!

And I promise I will do my best to blog about things other than Maggie but right now there is not a lot going on! Hope everyone has a great weekend! It finally feels like fall here and I am super EXCITED, too bad Mr. K is working this weekend!

HSG and Other News

I know I should have done this a week ago...but I haven't wanted to, for several reasons.
I'm not even sure where to start...
The main reason I have been hesitant in posting is because a particular member of my family has started reading my blog. Apparently they enjoy taking what I say on here and repeating it to other family members, to stir up trouble. I know I have said some things on here that are not particularly faltering to many of my family members, but I am only stating my feelings and I am NOT doing it to be hurtful to anyone. I have thought about making my blog private and the more I think about it the less I want to do that. I know I read a variety of different blogs that I might not comment on and I get sad when they suddenly go private and I don't want to do that to any one who might be lurking out there. So to that family member, I am not going to tell you to stop reading but I am going to ask that you respect me and my thoughts and stop stirring things up, I really just don't have the energy for it.

In other news...
The HSG turned out to be pretty easy as far as the procedure it self is concerned. Little too no pain and it was over in less than five minuets. But then I guess that is also the bad part. It turns out that the Dr. that did the ectopic removal back in March was not honest with us at all. Not one little bit! It seams that she actually REMOVED my left fallopian tube and ovary! Yes you read that right, both my left fallopian tube and ovary are gone!
I sat for a long while being very angry and crying! I understand I still have the right side but I feel violated. And yes I realize she would have only done it if it were medically necessary, but the fact that she just left that little bit of information out is what bothers me! Mr. K and I both specifically asked her if she removed anything and she said NO! I really just feel violated!
Dr. R said we shouldn't worry about anything and that my right FT and O look very healthy. He also said he doesn't see any reason for us to worry about anything, even though his best guess is that it will take any ware from 6 months to a year to conceive once we decide we are ready and that really isn't that long, it it?
But right now I just have to believe that everything will work out for us.

After a rough first couple of days Maggie is finally feeling at home, I have about a zillion pictures that I will sort threw and post a few of later. We attempted a walk this morning but she wanted no part of. See last week the weather here was so nice and cool, in the 70's, which was wonderful compared to mid 90's that we have been experiencing! But it didn't last too long, this morning we woke up and it is in the 80's again! And Maggie wants no part of going outside, which could present a problem or two in a few hours.
Wish me luck!